


Day 18: Meltdown

by eating_custardinbed



Series: Pride Month: IT Crowd style [18]
Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Again Roy just wants to help, Autistic Character, Autistic Maurice Moss, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Feelings, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Meltdown, Moss is overwhelmed, One Shot, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_custardinbed/pseuds/eating_custardinbed
Summary: Moss becomes overwhelmed with all the change that is going on
Relationships: Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman
Series: Pride Month: IT Crowd style [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780783
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Day 18: Meltdown

**Author's Note:**

> hiya!! sorry, a bit more sadness in this one, but after tomorrow it's just fluff, i promise!!! please enjoy this ficlet 
> 
> todays prompt is “I’m not going anywhere.”

As soon as he woke up that morning, Moss knew that it was on the cards to happen. 

He always knew when it was going to happen, sort of. When he woke up in the morning, he often felt as if there was a weight sitting on his chest, trying to push his lungs down and choke all of the air out of him. That was the first thing he noticed when he awoke at four a.m, still exhausted somehow after a decent night’s sleep. He sighed heavily, rolling over onto his side and out of his boyfriend’s arms. By his side, Roy snored away. Moss shook his head and sat up, forcing himself to stand and go into the living room. 

It was still dark outside. He could see that through the living room window. It was starting to get a little lighter, and part of him wanted to go out, find a high point and watch the sunset, but he was terrified that something would happen to him if he went out. Instead, he made himself a hot chocolate and curled up on the sofa with the first book he picked off the shelf.

Roy emerged, bleary-eyed and wild-haired, at around seven a.m. Moss hardly looked up from his book, murmuring a quiet “good morning” to him. 

“Mornin’, baby,” Roy said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. “How long have you been up?” 

“A few hours,” Moss replied, marking his page and shutting the book. He hadn’t really been reading it anyway. Roy nodded, grabbing the television remote and flicking the news on. The sudden loud noises and grating voices of the presenters made him wince, and he resisted the urge to put his hands over his ears. Roy didn’t seem to notice, going into the kitchen and starting to bustle around a bit. 

Work wasn’t much better. His clothes were itching, the basement lights were rather bright and everything was _loud_. Most of the day he commandeered the television, playing Mario Kart and ignoring the phones ringing. At lunchtime, he refused to eat, even as Roy tried to tempt him with Smarties and Lunchables and all his favourite foods, but he just shook his head. He saw Jen and Roy talking worriedly whilst glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, but he did his best to ignore it. Eventually, he couldn’t stand even the television anymore, and simply lay on the sofa, playing with a Rubix cube he’d found in his desk. 

It started just before the end of the day. 

It was the phone ringing that did it. He’d been flicking the Rubix cube at random, not really paying attention to it, when that horrible shrill ringing of the phone ripped through the office. He couldn’t take it. He dropped the cube onto his lap, clamping his hands over his ears. 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!” he shouted, trying to drown out the noise of the phone as he screwed his eyes tightly shut. He could feel the tears coming already. 

“Moss?” he heard Roy say. He sounded worried. “What--” 

“Shut _up_!” Moss yelled again, more forcefully this time. He pressed his hands harder into his head, curling further in on himself. God, he hated this. He was never quite sure how to describe it, but it was like having ants crawling away inside his brain, jumping and overreacting at every little thing. He took his hand away and knocked the heel of his hand sharply against his head, at the bony bit just behind his ear. He heard Roy’s chair roll back, and then all of a sudden there was a hand on his shoulder. 

On instinct, he lashed out. By feel, he guessed that he has just caught the edge of Roy’s jaw with his hand. There was a clattering and Roy made a small sound, but to Moss it felt overwhelming. He shouted out again, but this time even he didn’t know what he’d said. 

“Are you okay?” Roy whispered to him. He didn’t touch him this time. Moss took a moment, taking a few deep breaths to try and steady himself a little. 

“I don’t know,” he murmured. 

There were a few steps, and then he heard Roy shushing someone. He assumed it was Jen. 

“What’s going on?” Roy asked quietly. 

“Lights,” he choked out. He ran a hand through his hair, and it helped a little. “Too bright. Too much noise.” 

“Okay, okay,” Roy said. The next minute, he heard the click of the lights turning off, and then the phones being silenced. Unfortunately, he knocked something off the side on his way back and it sent a shockwave of pain through his head. He raised his hand and hit his head again. It helped, but Roy didn’t seem to like it. “Moss, no, c’mon.” 

“Just _be quiet_!” he shouted back. 

They all sat in silence for a good twenty minutes, neither Roy nor Jen daring to move a muscle. Every so often, Moss would let out a gut-wrenching sob, or would try to hit himself in the head to ground himself. Often Roy would gently catch his hand and hold it until he stopped trying to fight it. 

Eventually, Moss managed to open his eyes without everything all being too much. Roy and Jen were looking at him with that horrible, pitying look on their faces. Straight away, he turned and curled himself into the sofa. 

“Go away,” he said miserably. “You don’t have to see me like this.” 

Roy gently rested his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

_“I’m not going anywhere,_ ” he said, his voice low and quiet. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, baby.” 

Sniffing, Moss turned to look at his partner. 

“Really?” he asked quietly. “You really don’t mind when things like this happen?” 

“I just want you to be safe,” Roy replied. “I want you to be happy, and I want to be able to help you when you’re not.” 

“Just tell us next time when you need space,” Jen said gently. Moss jumped a little: he’d almost forgotten that she was there. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at the floor. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Roy said quickly. Moss smiled, leaning forward and kissing Roy softly. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. 

“No problem, love. No problem at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. please leave comments and kudos if you can, they make me so happy!!! 
> 
> stay safe and happy, y'all xx


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